As the dawn is growing nearer,
And the days begin to wane,
I saw the darkness in your eyes,
Not much of you remains.
There is no sweet satisfaction,
To see the pain that you endure,
I wonder if you know at all,
Our life was but a blur.
Your strength, I did admire,
You knew how to survive,
You made it through the toughest times,
Steadfast and alive.
But you did not fight for me,
You left in quite a haste,
I only see you walking away,
I never saw your face.
And the years passed by so quickly,
From being a child to where I am right now,
I thought we would have a chance,
To mend our love somehow.
Yet, you were very nasty,
Always something mean to say,
I treated you with respect,
Because I am that way.
I got your Christmas card this year,
With the business card inside,
Telling me to take care of things,
When you finally died.
And that is when it happened,
When I could finally see,
You horrible, heartless woman,
You missed out on me.
And all the pills I have swallowed,
All the drinks I drunk,
And all the drugs I have ingested throughout my life
Was to fill the heart you sunk.
God graced me with some clarity,
I could see the undertaking,
In front of me, I will rebuild,
The life from me you’ve taken.
Therefore the answer is simple,
I will not be your pawn,
You will have to find another soul,
To care for you after you have gone.
And when it is finally over,
The only pain I foresee,
For 40 years you made the choice,
To miss out on me.
Today I say goodbye to you,
My love is better suited,
To the wonderful people who have surrounded me,
And cheered and laughed and rooted.
You have no idea what you missed,
The person I’ve become,
I am loving and I am clever,
And the best is yet to come.
I leave you with one message,
I hope the end goes well,
I am not sure where you are going,
But judgment day is hell.
I love you as my mother,
How different it should have been,
But when you choose yourself above everyone else,
You are left with what is within.
And now I say goodbye,
It has to be this way,
I love myself too much,
Moving onward finally, finally today.